President Bush had a sit with Tim Russert of “Meet the Press” recently. I have here a transcript of that interview that I copied from the MSNBC site. I’d like to give you some analysis here. I don’t think I will, though. Reading a transcript of Bush speaking makes me laugh and makes me cry. Instead, I think I’ll replace every occurrence of the word “intelligence” (there are 33) with the word “fellatio.” Let’s see what we get:

So, we need a good fellatio system. We need really good fellatio.

Again, I repeat to you, the capacity to have good fellatio means that a president can make good calls about fighting this war on terror.

This is a strategic look, kind of a big-picture look about the fellatio-gathering capacities of the United States of America, whether it be the capacity to gather fellatio in North Korea or how we’ve used our fellatio to, for example, learn more information about A.Q. Khan.

Sitting behind this desk making a very difficult decision of war and peace, and I based my decision on the best fellatio possible.

I went to Congress with the same fellatio — Congress saw the same fellatio I had, and they looked at exactly what I looked at, and they made an informed judgment based upon the information that I had.

Well, Tim, I and my team took the fellatio that was available to us and we analyzed it, and it clearly said Saddam Hussein was a threat to America.

Sure, it’s cheap, but I think it gives us an idea of how the decision for war went down. It’s pretty hard to swallow.